Zoom etiquette: How to maximise meetings in the new normal

By body language specialist and executive coach Suzanne Masefield

With travel restrictions still in place and staff encouraged to work from home, Zoom meetings are the new normal. But what impression are you making on that screen? 

And how can you navigate this platform to create a deeper connection, elevate confidence and collaborate effectively?

Within the first five minutes of meeting someone, we decide whether we like, dislike, trust or mistrust them! I’m sure you can remember a time when you were drawn to someone as if you’d known them for years 
– or felt repelled on first meeting.  Even if you didn't know exactly why,
a gut instinct sends a clear message about the other person.

We create a perception of others and, likewise, they read us, judging our credibility and whether they feel confident to have a relationship or do business with us. This is determined through subtle signals sent to each other consciously and unconsciously, mainly via our tone of voice and body language. Research shows us that at least 55% of our communication is delivered via body language, 38% through tone of voice – and only 7% through the actual words we speak!

Our physical presence has a huge impact on how we feel in ourselves, as well as the impressions others gain from us and the effect that can have when doing business. More recent studies have even suggested that in some situations, our body language can be responsible for as much as 80-90% of whether we come across positively or negatively.

The key to Zoom Etiquette is within Us

Prior to meetings, we often prepare what we’re going to say with notes or a presentation. But most people rarely take even a few moments to check in with how they’re feeling, what they’re thinking, or how they’re positioning their body and the outcomes that can have on their interactions.  As a Body Mind Analyst and Executive Coach, my clients frequently ask what’s holding them  back, often not realising how they come across to others. They’re unaware they shrink back, look nervous, or come across as pushy, aggressive or negative.

Our body presence affects how we feel chemically. When we position our bodies in a relaxed upright posture, taking deep, measured breaths, we feel empowered as endorphins and testosterone flow through our bodies, increasing confidence and feelings of connection. The opposite is true when we close our posture up and take shallow breaths, which is very common when anxious and actually increases the stress hormone cortisol.

Likewise, our thoughts impact our emotions, which impact how we position our body, so when discussing body language, we cannot do so as if it’s a stand-alone option – our minds, emotions and physicality all work together. I call this “collaborative intelligence™”. It’s about understanding how to enable your mind, emotions and your body to work more consciously as a team, instead of as separate entities, which can often be the case when people have little self-awareness.

Before you join the chat, Press Pause!
When you make a choice to prepare yourself prior to Zoom meetings, you develop greater self-awareness, so you can respond more effectively, rather than reacting to outside influences.

Take a few deep breaths and move your body into an upright, open position to create a greater sense of physical presence, so you elevate your mental and emotional state, and enhance your ability to focus by increasing oxygen to the brain. You can also do this during meetings if you catch your attention wandering or find yourself feeling stressed.

By taking charge of your breathing and your posture, you create a greater sense of self to improve decision making, increase your presence and enhance your ability to communicate with greater awareness,
so you can engage and interact easily and more effectively.

Using “collaborative intelligence” also helps you become more aware of destructive thoughts that may need shifting, so you don’t sabotage meetings from the onset. For example, “Brian from HR drones on for hours,” or, “These meetings are such a waste of time,” which are things I’ve heard clients utter.

Pressing pause to center yourself prior to and during Zoom meetings creates a stable platform, so you can showcase who you are with a calm, confident manner that engenders trust, connection and greater engagement with others.

Get in Touch 
Face-to-face meetings are often initiated by a touch, handshake, hug or, nowadays, an elbow bump. But when Zooming, that sensory means of connection, or reading of others from the onset has been removed. So our other senses – visual, auditory and intuition – instinctively amp up to allow us to uncover whether we have a friend or foe on our screens. Utilising these sensory areas to enhance our Zoom etiquette enables us to gain more information, feel more empowered, and increase our connection and collaboration with others.

Eye See!

The phrase “eyes are the window to the soul” is said for good reason. Eye contact gets us in touch and it’s pivotal to gaining more meaningful connection, especially when we can’t actually touch each other.

Many people find eye contact uncomfortable. There’s also a cultural etiquette in Asian and Pacific communities where direct eye contact can be seen as aggressive or confrontational, especially with someone is considered an elder. So we also need to have awareness of the cultural etiquette when Zooming across the world.

When we look into another’s eyes, it can feel intimate so some people avoid it altogether, especially if they’re shy. Instead, they focus on other things, such as their laptops, which can come across as disrespectful and can work against them in team or client meetings. Or they take a quick look, then look down or away, which can make you look insecure, uninterested or lacking in confidence.

Something I teach when training clients to gain greater connection and engagement using eye contact is to initiate what I call a “five-second look”. You look into someone’s eyes long enough to notice their eye colour, then look to the side. This creates a deeper sense of connection between you both and allows you to overcome the emotional discomfort of intimacy. Looking to the side for a few seconds once you’ve noticed their eye colour gives everyone breathing space to centre themselves without looking insecure or vague before continuing to communicate.

Truthful Hands

Handshakes allegedly came about in order to show the other person you wanted to be on friendly terms and weren’t hiding weapons – and this is still true today. When someone doesn’t show their hands during interactions, many people subconsciously feel uneasy about that person, even if they can’t put their finger on exactly why they feel that way.

The key to creating trust and comfort for others is to use hand gestures in Zoom meetings in a balanced way. Creative and more emotionally connected people, like Barack Obama, tend to use more rounded gestures that draw people in, like “the basketball”. More logical personalities use linear or geometric signals, such as “the chop” or box-like gestures. Neither is right or wrong, but it can give you an indication of the type of person you’re communicating with and what their primary focus is at that time, which can be extremely valuable to know in business meetings.

Best practice is to use what I call “truthful hands”, blending both rounded and linear gestures to make others feel safe and to build more powerful bonds. Choose to really listen to what others’ body language signals are telling you, so you can respond in a way that connects with more people and enhances your interactions.

Spatial Awareness

You wouldn’t imagine spatial awareness would be something you’d need to think about during Zoom meetings, but if you want to come across in a professional, engaging, influential way, it’s a necessity!

I’ve experienced far too many Zooms where people have cameras facing towards the ceiling or downward. Or they lean too far forward so they look huge and intimidating. Or sit right back in their chair, seeming distant, disconnected or disinterested.  


So what’s best practice for Zoom etiquette?

When you position yourself in front of your computer, ensure you’re sitting on a comfortable chair so you’re relaxed and don’t spend the whole time fidgeting. Check to ensure your camera is pointed directly at you, so people aren’t seeing more of your ceiling or your desk than your face.  Practice positioning yourself at the center of your camera before your Zoom meeting, so you don’t spend the majority of the meeting moving around, distracting others, making you look jittery, and lowering your credibility and confidence.

When you want to emphasise a point, that’s the best time to lean forward and make hand gestures to help you explain. If possible, turn side-on and make your gestures next to your body, so you don’t bring your hands too close to the camera – this can make your fingers look like giant carrots, which can scare the pants off people!

If you don’t need to stress a point, sit back in your chair in a relaxed manner, close enough so others can see you and really listen. Above all, don’t turn your camera off, or start answering emails or attending to other work, as that’s disrespectful and just plain bad manners.

Leave them better for the experience
The very best Zoom etiquette incorporates “collaborative intelligence” during interactions, so you’re present to thoughts, feelings and your body presence. This helps you come across authentically, creates trust and respect, and leaves you able to adjust to situations as they arise. By increasing your self-awareness, flexibility and resilience, you can make stronger connections, empowering yourself and others, and allowing everyone to come away from Zoom meetings better for the experience.

Suzanne Masefield is a qualified body-mind analyst (AIBMA), executive coach (ICF),
hypnotherapist (HNZDH), counsellor (MIT) and micro-expression trainer.

Her new online program Press Pause is designed to help busy people refocus, reconnect and manage stress. Visit https://presspause.today for more info or go to https://thebodylanguagecompany.com/